For everything there is a season

An old song is on my mind today. For everything there is a season, it was derived from the bible and I like the verse.
To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time of peace, I swear it's not too late


So, why is this song important? Well, for me it means a new season of work and health. Yesterday, after all the company left, the entertaining and birthdays over with.... I got back on my treadmill. I wrote out a menu of eating to follow for this entire week. I have a plan. I shall not falter. Like the song says, I time to gain and a time to lose. I shall lose, but it will be a good loss.

I swear it's not too late. : )

crap

What a lousy couple of days. My son had a medical emergency and ended up in the hospital the night before last. Having company over the weekend and there is a great deal that needs to be done. All the things that were supposed to be done on time for today are, you guesed it, not done.
Oh yeah. Today is my birthday. Big f-in deal.
Time to clean the toilets, that's what people do on their birthday, right? : )
Don't mean to sound so down. But, the world doesn't stop for your birthday. Dishes, laundry, taking care of a sick 22 year old (who I love and don't mind doing that for, of course) and all the other stuff shall prevent me from going to my quilt group that I usually go to on Thursdays.
No time, much to do, I'm a big girl and when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

sleep eludes me

Last week or so, sleep has sucked. No sleep = headaches, achy, dull

Do I resort to drugs of some sort to help this or do I keep hoping my natural body rhythms will take over?

Do I like this?

Well, it's been a few weeks and I am evaluating. Is having a blog worth anything to me or am I spinning my wheels and wasting my time?
I don't really know, I guess.
Am I saying anything that is worthwhile. No one reads this, so what is the point?
No point?
But, I am not apt to broadcast my thoughts around to anyone else as I am uncomfortable.
Would I offend someone?
Would they not like me as much if they knew what I was really thinking?
Would my thoughts be boring?

No answers, just questions.

unemployed people

Some people who are unemployed are legitimately trying to find work, they put all their energy into this endeavor. I wish them well and I have no problem if people like this get help from our government. Their perseverance will pay off and they will ultimately find something.
I also know that these people will ultimately settle for something making a bit less and re-channel their dreams (even temporarily) to deal with the times. They have true American spirit and are admirable folks going through a bit of a hard patch.
What angers me is the type that won't "settle". I saw a person interviewed on TV a few days ago who moved in with their parents and said that they have "given up" and won't settle on something that will diminish their superior education. The have moved out of an apartment and kept their car, mooched off mom and dad (who probably are near retirement and need to save) and have "given up their search" until times are better.
Well, that is well and good, but let's face it, there are people with a PhD in this economy working at gas stations and convenience stores to put food on the table. They moonlight driving school buses, they clean houses, they babysit, they do anything they can do to get by, even selling valuable possessions, homes, etc. This kind of superiority does not earn points with employers who like to see someone "hit the ground running" and be resourceful. It is perfectly acceptable to try something new and different during these times. Work at McDonalds, clean toilets, be proud to do an honest day's work for your pay. Seek opportunity where ever you are, if you are shelling out fries at McDonalds, good workers do get promoted to shift supervisors and then managers. At least TRY.
I know another person who infuriates me. She was let go from her employer for performance issues. She wasn't doing what they needed her to accomplish. She is a marketing professional and she should be using that education to market herself. What is she doing? For near two years, she's been collecting unemployment and what she is doing with her time is "enjoying long walks with the dog", shopping for antiques, travelling (via airplanes that I can't afford to go on) to visit friends across the country in NC from CA and having quilting retreats. I see remarks like "life is good". Well, we are paying her way so her life is very good, indeed.
Her divorce is pending and she will get a settlement from this, she will buy a house and she is leaning on the soon to be X for support on top of her unemployment. So, this man is going to be saddled with her support when she is perfectly cable of finding something, anything, to keep off the unemployment roster.
Does this sound like people we should be supporting with our tax dollars?
I beg to differ.
I think I should go find a job and get myself fired or laid off and then collect unemployment so I can fly on airplanes and visit long-distance friends and go on quilting retreats at expensive places while everyone else picks up the tab. Yup, sounds good to me.
Let's all sit back and not take the initiative to strive to be better, self supporting.
I get angry as I see that near 40% of the money my husband works so very hard for and sacrifices so much of his life for is taken in taxes and people like those, above, and worse sit back and feel justified.
Where is the justice?
Again, I do not begrudge a single soul who is legitimately looking for a job, hurting, elderly, incapacitated, but I am just pissed. Pissed is the only word I can think of.

Catching up day

Wow, sorting through all the clutter in this house is a real pain. I have no idea how things can get so messy. I need to do a better job. I hate clutter. I hate disorganization.
I spent nearly an hour, in panic, trying to find something I really needed to get my hand on today and it was out of place. I was annoyed with myself. I have to have a place for everything and everything in it's place.
I'm feeling my age, sadly. Aging sucks. I forget things. I want to be invigorated and vibrant. I want to have all the facts and figures and locations of stuff in my head and I do not anymore. I don't trust my memory. (slight tear....)
Where did the years go?
55 in 10 days, that really sounds so old.
Have I done everything I wanted to do with my life? Have I readied myself for the future?
Am I in good shape physically? No, no, no.
Well, Linda, get off your ass and move.

Monday, a new beginning

Said this new beginning stuff before, but I hope to do it better today.
The new beginning is not as much about weight watchers (soooooo boring) but about exercise. I will get on the treadmill for 20 minutes 4 times this week. I will. I will!
Glad the coffee hour thing at church is over and done with for the year. You only have one time per year that you are assigned to do this. I learned a few things, met a few people and I'm done.
Glad to be home today with nothing on my calendar until 7:00 pm this evening. Catch up time, relaxing time. Will save grocery shopping for tomorrow and just basque in a day to just be me and breath.

A busy day, glad it's over

I did coffee hour at church this morning, came home, had lunch, got dishes done and provided the family with a turkey dinner. Just finished all the clean up. Have been on my feet almost all day. Stomach has been upset, back bothering me, I made it though.
I'm so glad that there is nothing on the calendar until 7:00 pm tomorrow evening.
I need a break.

oh no

procrastination is a bad thing.
Time to get to work on stuff and here I am.
Why can't I be motivated to get my work done?

project

Well, the Gold Star Mom raffle quilt is well under way. It sure is taking up tons of my time and organizational skills.
I'm not sure I like this project and hope to not have anything like it again.
How frustrating.
I did learn how to make a pdf file out of quilt block instructions today after an hour and a half of frustration. Then, so many of the people that I sent emails to wrote their email addresses on the sign up sheet at the quilt guild illegibly. Grrrrrrrr..... how irritating. I've had to phone people to clarify and am unable to get to some of them.
I had 36 people to send emails to and had to type in all their addresses. What a pain.
Once I get this going, it might be ok.
I'm so busy this week I really don't need this.
Had to bake all afternoon for the coffee hour at church on Sunday.
My Brother's Keeper and Art Class tomorrow. I am glad I have the art class as I need to relax and unwind a bit. I'm so busy, I should skip it, but I will go and perhaps the relaxation will do me good?

Inspired?

I read a posting made by another person named Linda on a weight loss yahoo group I am part of. Lately, I've not been reading it and have just been deleting it. Silly me? I've just had this blah attitude about weight loss and this one posting drew me back to where I would like to be.

It's daunting to have 20+ pounds to lose. Yeah, everyone says "you look fine" and technically I believe I look OK too, but OK isn't looking good is it? Just OK? Hmmmm..... I can do better than this. It's also not about looking good, it's more than that. I have a big birthday coming. For some reason this particular birthday (55) is bothering me. I turned 30, 40, 50 and kept saying to myself, no big deal. You are as old as you feel, right? But, damn. 15 year from now (and time sure goes quickly) I'll be 70. Crap.

So, what do people when threatened with their own mortality? They have to face it and do whatever they can do to hang on to health for as long as possible.

I don't want to be my mom with regard to aging. When she reached a certain age, she kind of gave up doing things. She'd say things like, "Oh, I don't feel up to coming over to the lake". She'd sit at home, watch TV and do absolutely NOTHING. Dad would want to go out and she would tell him to go without her, finally. Dad loved life and I am so sad that cancer took him when he had so much more life to live. Mom was kind of like a ticking time bomb with her high blood pressure and things of that nature.

What causes people to lose their gusto and health earlier than they ought to? Weight. Weight makes blood pressure rise. Weight adds risk to diabetes and certainly to most forms of cancer. So, do I want to live another 20+ years or do I want to be gone in 10 or 12 years? I know the answer to this.

While I am at it, I sure wish my husband would finally quit smoking as I'd like to be with him during his retirement years and do the travelling we always have wanted to do. This time of year, I'd like to be somewhere warm and be active and enjoying things. That won't happen if he continues this way, but each time I mention it, he gets angry. He sees it as nagging, I see it as wanting him to live long.

At any rate, today is going to be a day where I start to make an effort again and get back on that weight loss bandwagon. It's my fault if I do not at least try.