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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Just me

Well sometimes I try so hard to be a good person and I just annoy people. I'm sorry world that I suck so much. I interrupt and annoy I guess. I can't help myself, I guess. I'm all wound up about something and it just feels like I am going to explode at times. I'm so scared and worried about the roof and if we do have damage will we be covered and will be be able to live here. What about us, will someone get hurt, what about our family, pets, etc. Why doesn't Mark get it? We should have paid someone to shovel the roof. We truly should have.
Here we have water pouring into our bathroom and a crack along the wall and to me, that is a sure sign we might have our roof collapse and he, uncaring, went off to bed and treated me like dirt. Why am I always in the wrong? Isn't HE ever the one that is wrong? It's always me, of course it's me, he is so perfect, right? If he read this, I'd be accused of being wrong for this too, I guess, as I never do anything right. I'm a jerk, a hateful bitch who is to be mistreated and I totally suck at everything.
I just am the one stuck here worrying and scared. It's all well and good when other go off along their merry way and I'm stuck here being the one to deal with the messes.
I just want to have a peaceful day where things go well.
Everything I say and do pisses Mark off. Yet, he is certainly no angel and is so short tempered.
I want my mom. I truly wish I could get a hug from a person who understands me and unconditionally loves me. I don't think anybody loves me. I really feel so sad, alone and miserable. What if our house comes crumbling down around us and we can't even get the insurance to cover us? I'm sad. Why can't Mark understand how upset I am and be understanding and NICE.