Well sometimes I try so hard to be a good person and I just annoy people. I'm sorry world that I suck so much. I interrupt and annoy I guess. I can't help myself, I guess. I'm all wound up about something and it just feels like I am going to explode at times. I'm so scared and worried about the roof and if we do have damage will we be covered and will be be able to live here. What about us, will someone get hurt, what about our family, pets, etc. Why doesn't Mark get it? We should have paid someone to shovel the roof. We truly should have.
Here we have water pouring into our bathroom and a crack along the wall and to me, that is a sure sign we might have our roof collapse and he, uncaring, went off to bed and treated me like dirt. Why am I always in the wrong? Isn't HE ever the one that is wrong? It's always me, of course it's me, he is so perfect, right? If he read this, I'd be accused of being wrong for this too, I guess, as I never do anything right. I'm a jerk, a hateful bitch who is to be mistreated and I totally suck at everything.
I just am the one stuck here worrying and scared. It's all well and good when other go off along their merry way and I'm stuck here being the one to deal with the messes.
I just want to have a peaceful day where things go well.
Everything I say and do pisses Mark off. Yet, he is certainly no angel and is so short tempered.
I want my mom. I truly wish I could get a hug from a person who understands me and unconditionally loves me. I don't think anybody loves me. I really feel so sad, alone and miserable. What if our house comes crumbling down around us and we can't even get the insurance to cover us? I'm sad. Why can't Mark understand how upset I am and be understanding and NICE.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Alone again, naturally
There was an old song, "alone again, naturally":
Alone again, naturally
Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn�t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally
This song is on my mind today. Mom and dad are gone. Mark's in NY, Jamie went back to school, Jeff is at work. Here I am, alone again naturally.
Gotta find a way to be happy on my own.
Alone again, naturally
Now looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn�t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally
This song is on my mind today. Mom and dad are gone. Mark's in NY, Jamie went back to school, Jeff is at work. Here I am, alone again naturally.
Gotta find a way to be happy on my own.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Why are we Americans not thought well of?
I have a few European friends as well as a few from other cultures.
They say to me that their poor view of American people is due to obnoxious tourists who are loud, intrusive, largely overweight, wear horrible "loud" clothing and are just plain rude. I cannot argue with that view as I have seen this type of person myself. Just take a look at that "people of Walmart" web site and see for yourself. Yikes.
They also form opinions based on the TV shows that are imported to their countries.
Look at the shameful things they send over.
Why do many of the TV shows have to be "naughty" in order to be entertaining nowadays? So, if you see a movie or show that depicts people as low class, with bad morale behaviour, violent, swearing all the time, etc. what will you think of the society? We appear shallow and I think we are, in general.
I think we need to take a long serious look at what we portray ourselves to be to other countries. I am certainly not proud of my country. I don't think other countries envy us at all, I think they are disgusted.
There are many things to be proud of here in the USA, but we are not putting our best foot forward and showing other societies what we are truly like, sadly. I think we need to work on this.
They say to me that their poor view of American people is due to obnoxious tourists who are loud, intrusive, largely overweight, wear horrible "loud" clothing and are just plain rude. I cannot argue with that view as I have seen this type of person myself. Just take a look at that "people of Walmart" web site and see for yourself. Yikes.
They also form opinions based on the TV shows that are imported to their countries.
Look at the shameful things they send over.
Why do many of the TV shows have to be "naughty" in order to be entertaining nowadays? So, if you see a movie or show that depicts people as low class, with bad morale behaviour, violent, swearing all the time, etc. what will you think of the society? We appear shallow and I think we are, in general.
I think we need to take a long serious look at what we portray ourselves to be to other countries. I am certainly not proud of my country. I don't think other countries envy us at all, I think they are disgusted.
There are many things to be proud of here in the USA, but we are not putting our best foot forward and showing other societies what we are truly like, sadly. I think we need to work on this.
Lucky
I'm lucky.
I have a wonderful husband and two great kids.
I even have two very sweet cats.
I have a cabin up on a lake that I love.
Lucky?
Why am I sad sometimes?
I feel like life is slipping by and I have not accomplished what I should have.
What is it that would make life complete?
There really isn't anything wrong that I can pinpoint.
Sadness.
I have a wonderful husband and two great kids.
I even have two very sweet cats.
I have a cabin up on a lake that I love.
Lucky?
Why am I sad sometimes?
I feel like life is slipping by and I have not accomplished what I should have.
What is it that would make life complete?
There really isn't anything wrong that I can pinpoint.
Sadness.
Fed up, are you?
Can we realistically return to the times of our founding fathers? The recent Tea Party movement has brought fourth this question. People have been brought to the streets asking, begging our politicians to listen.
The times of the 1700s have gone by and a great deal of things have changed. Some of those changes are progress, good and some are not.
But, as far as the basic foundations our country was founded upon, my answer is a big and hopeful YES we can! But, that is not an Obama "yes we can", please. (he ruined that phrase for me, but it works here)
Yes, we are still entitled to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Yes, we have a beautiful constitution and a great system, but we need to know this system and follow it.
We have allowed congress and the senate to deviate and "interpret" and we have allowed those who are now being referred to as "progressives" in both parties to make some changes that are just not right for this country.
We need to take the government's hand out of our pockets and be allowed to keep more of what we earn. We need a fine tuned and smaller government and we need more honesty and integrity demonstrated by those who are elected. We need to hold them accountable and we need term limits. They are not elite, they need to stop being treated like they are and they need to be humble people. Since when does being elected to a DC post entitle a person to private jets, private gyms, private elevators (are they too elite to even take an elevator with the rest?). How much of your money is being spent on their perks?
In other words, we need to take the trash (both parties) out of Washington DC. We need to take back our country and remind these people who live like kings that we are the boss, not them. Time has gone by since 1776 but the basics are there for a "more perfect union" and I feel deep in my heart that we are on the verge of a revolution and that we will make it happen. The people are ready and the people are disgusted. We the people have to vote and vote more wisely and be more informed than ever before, it is out duty.
It's taken a decade or more of bad presidents, crooks in various elected positions, etc. to open our eyes and it is not just one party, it's both. Time for we the people to show our concern, desire and to have done right by us. I lose sleep at night over what a mess this country is in. Do you?
Please take the time to study the candidates and do not be one of those people with a "short memory" and do get out and vote this November. I suggest to you all that we must vote out all incumbents and bring fresh attitude and convictions to our leadership. Our country is in turmoil and you must treat your own vote as if it were the only vote to be cast.
The times of the 1700s have gone by and a great deal of things have changed. Some of those changes are progress, good and some are not.
But, as far as the basic foundations our country was founded upon, my answer is a big and hopeful YES we can! But, that is not an Obama "yes we can", please. (he ruined that phrase for me, but it works here)
Yes, we are still entitled to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Yes, we have a beautiful constitution and a great system, but we need to know this system and follow it.
We have allowed congress and the senate to deviate and "interpret" and we have allowed those who are now being referred to as "progressives" in both parties to make some changes that are just not right for this country.
We need to take the government's hand out of our pockets and be allowed to keep more of what we earn. We need a fine tuned and smaller government and we need more honesty and integrity demonstrated by those who are elected. We need to hold them accountable and we need term limits. They are not elite, they need to stop being treated like they are and they need to be humble people. Since when does being elected to a DC post entitle a person to private jets, private gyms, private elevators (are they too elite to even take an elevator with the rest?). How much of your money is being spent on their perks?
In other words, we need to take the trash (both parties) out of Washington DC. We need to take back our country and remind these people who live like kings that we are the boss, not them. Time has gone by since 1776 but the basics are there for a "more perfect union" and I feel deep in my heart that we are on the verge of a revolution and that we will make it happen. The people are ready and the people are disgusted. We the people have to vote and vote more wisely and be more informed than ever before, it is out duty.
It's taken a decade or more of bad presidents, crooks in various elected positions, etc. to open our eyes and it is not just one party, it's both. Time for we the people to show our concern, desire and to have done right by us. I lose sleep at night over what a mess this country is in. Do you?
Please take the time to study the candidates and do not be one of those people with a "short memory" and do get out and vote this November. I suggest to you all that we must vote out all incumbents and bring fresh attitude and convictions to our leadership. Our country is in turmoil and you must treat your own vote as if it were the only vote to be cast.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Crashing down
Things are out of control. I have far too many commitments and not enough hours in the day. I need a blizzard. God, please send me a blizzard so I can stay home and not have to go anywhere and get all my stuff done! Pretty please?
So much for that bargaining, God is too busy to heed those desires of mine. What I need to do it make a list, prioritize and get my ass in gear.
No sympathy, no whining, just move.
So much for that bargaining, God is too busy to heed those desires of mine. What I need to do it make a list, prioritize and get my ass in gear.
No sympathy, no whining, just move.
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